I Am Not Afraid of Airplanes

By the time I was checked in and past security, I still had over two hours before my flight. The sign at my gate didn’t even say “Sacramento” yet. The new airport is nice. I think it might be the nicest airport in the United States. I’ve heard people say that. The bathrooms are an array of unisex pods with neon track lighting. They have restrooms for dogs too. Sexy backpackers, Great Plains working-class people, and businessmen in linen jackets marched the terminals purposefully. I sat down in a booth and read a few chapters of Annihilation.

I boarded the flight behind two ancient Mennonite women. I guess I don’t know for sure that they were Mennonite. But they wore that traditional gingham dress along with neon-colored walking sneakers and white bonnets. I asked them whether they were traveling or going home. Traveling, they said with big, satisfied smiles.

The plane was packed full. By the time I got on, no window seats were available. I sat down next to an older couple who had their headphones safely inserted. The flight was five hours long and thoroughly unpleasant. For a few hours, I managed to sink into my book and ignore my situation. The turbulence was bad, the engines screaming. I felt like I was locked in a body-sized cage. I felt like a factory-farmed layer hen. By the fourth hour, the cabin became raucous with coughs, groans, sardonic laughter, complaints, and tired conversation. I could no longer read my book comfortably. I popped a nicotine lozenge and felt it poison my mouth. My airline snacks remained untouched and stuffed in the pouch of the seat in front of me. We began our descent through a maelstrom of even heavier turbulence. The voices began to yelp and whimper. The children held their ears and screamed as the air pressure shifted dramatically. Finally, the aircraft jolted uncomfortably onto the Sacramento tarmac. The pilot told us that, unless we were continuing on to Boise, we were now free to get off the plane. I got a text from my uncle:

Welcome to CA.

He told me to meet him outside the baggage claim.